The Modern Penguin: The Nathan’s Trip

(By Modern Penguin I mean stories that are part of my adult life, that are in my memory banks as well as in the memory banks of others. This does not mean I am not misremembering, just that this is the way I recall it. I am sure that Mrsfabp or CollegeBoy or MillieJupiter or someone will quickly correct my stories so that they are accurate…)

When I was in college one of the guys I hung around with, I’ll call him Hud, was from Brooklyn and he had some very strong Brooklyn tastes. He like his bagels and lox, loved his Brooklyn pizza, cold, and had a special place in his heart for Coney Island.

For those who might not know better, Coney Island, was the equivalent of Six Flags Amusement Park at the beach. There was sand and boardwalk and amusement park rides and one of the world’s oldest and best roller coasters, The Cyclone. This is where the Hot Dog Eating Contest is held every year, right in from of the famous hot dog and Coney Island staple, Nathan’s.

You can buy a Nathan’s hot dog at the grocery store now a days but as good as it is, it is not as good as one eaten with relish (yes, double entendre there!) with the sound of the surf in your ears and the smell of the ocean in your nostrils. Well, Hud was partial to the dogs there and to raw clams on the half shell so it was not out of the ordinary for him to ask if anyone with a car might be interested in a 2 am trip to Nathan’s. It was only 20 minutes from school at that time of night, more like an hour during the day, fighting the Kennedy Airport traffic, so it was an easy trip and I had a car.

So one night, 3 am or so, Hud knocks on the door and asks about a Nathan’s run. On top of the hot dog and raw clam goodness, he has an opportunity to introduce a non-city boy, we’ll call him Noel, to the greatness of hot dogs at that hour. Noel was from the northern NYC suburbs, had never been to Coney Island or had a Nathan’s dog so a trip it was.

No traffic, no problems and before you could say Gulden’s mustard, we were on the sidewalk in front of Nathan’s. Of course it was quiet but there were some people there, probably headed home from their local tavern and in need of a bite to eat. Well, it was hot dogs and sodas all around and Hud got a plate of raw clams, drenched in hot sauce and awaiting a slurp, which he did oh so well. This is where things get interesting.

We are standing, munching out on the dogs, when Noel notices that Hud has something different. He asks what that was and Hud says clams, would you like one. Noel says sure and Hud spends a minute explaining how to tilt the head back and slurp it down. Noel does the job like a pro and then Hud asks him what he thought of it. He said (a paraphrase after 30+ years but pretty damn accurate) “Well, it’s a bit salty but I was expecting it to be hot. It’s weird that they would cook it and then cool it down.” Hud replied in three simple words “They are raw” at which point Noel doubled over, grabbed his stomach and evacuated its contents onto the sidewalk. Yes he threw up on the sidewalk in front of Nathan’s. Quickly one of the workers ran out with a hose and washed the clam, hot dog bits and soda off the sidewalk and onto the street.

After a few minutes, we climbed back into the car for the drive back to school with a story I would remember and tell several times a year ever since then. MillieJupiter just came in and with a smile told me this is her favorite story that I tell and I have to admit I think it is my favorite too.

To go or not to go

The idea of me going to school early is one that has bothered me for a lifetime. In retrospect I think that starting school when one is not emotionally prepared is not a great idea. With our daughter MillieJupiter and son, CollegeBoy, we dealt with the same issues, and I’m note sure we did the right thing then either. In my previous post I said: “I was too immature for school then, and this issue dogged me well into college as I was always younger than my school mates and more immature too. This was a source of extreme conflict for me. Understand first that my mother went “out on a limb” insisting I was ready for school and so she kept tight reins on me.” To give this a better perspective, because of the Catholic School Policy and my mother’s rule bending, I was the youngest kid in the class, and would be for all 8 grades of my grammar school career. I was at least 5 months short of the official start age date, and in reality was 8-10 months younger than everyone else. I did not go to kindergarten, was home for my whole life up to that point with an overprotective, and maternally centered (mother and grandmother) system, so I was doomed. It continued thru my starting college as again I was always the youngest and needed to grow up a bit to say the least. I don’t think I felt like I ever caught up to my friends even during college. It was going out and living on my own and working at my first couple of jobs that finally solidified that concept of adulthood for me and got me away from feeling so immature as compared to others.

As I thought about this whole situation recently, one issue that I didn’t realize bothered me much then but did so more later in life, was my mother’s reaction to my brother Mike in this. He was a May baby, two years younger than I and more than a month short of the cutoff Catholic School date. By my standards he was more than ready to confront the challenges of grammar school. However, perhaps because of the experience with me, or maybe as a result of the angst of all my issues, Mike got a choice and it stuck in my craw then. I’m note sure he even remembers the situation, but I do. It was a Labor Day Monday and school was to begin the next day. I was upstairs getting my school uniform ready for the next day when I saw my mother standing at the top of the stairs, next to my room. She called down to Mike, who was in the downstairs hall and said “So Michael, do you want to start school tomorrow?” Mike looked up and after a couple of seconds said simply “No” and that was that. There was some discussion between my parents and grandmother about this being best, etc. but nothing further I was privy to. He stayed home that next day and for the entire year and so that is why even though he is only 2 years 3 months younger than me, he was 3 grades behind.

Am I bitter to this day? Nahhhhhh, not so much...

Labor Day, Hurricanes and the First Day of School

This time of year always puts me in mind of these three separate ideas which over time have become entangled together in my mind. I thought I would explain how this happens for me.

I was born in February 1955 so in September 1960 I was 5 ½ years old, too young for the first grade by the Catholic School Standards, which required you to be 6 years old by July 1st of the year you were to begin first grade. However my mother used her influence to get me tested before the previous school year ended, to see if I was “ready” for the first grade early. I can remember sitting in a school desk in the middle of the gym, facing a single Sister of Mercy nun, in the classic nun/penguin suit, while the hustle and bustle of the grammar school went on around us. I guess I passed, not remembering the questions now, but I was given a glimpse into the first grade classroom of Mrs. Menzie as we left, and being told this was where I would be in September.

First grade was to begin the day after Labor Day in 1960 but this plan was interrupted by Hurricane Donna. “For nine days, September 2 to September 11, Donna consistently had maximum sustained winds of at least 115 mph (185 km/h). From the time it became a tropical depression to when it dissipated after becoming an extratropical storm, Donna roamed the Atlantic from August 29 to September 14, a total of 17 days. While crossing the Atlantic, Donna briefly achieved Category 5 strength” (Thanks Wiki for the hurricane information). I was all set to begin but class was cancelled that first day. We sat in our kitchen watching several large trees in our yard sway until a large one, in the corner of the yard, broke, crushing our and a neighbors’ fence. I remember late that afternoon and the next day watching our neighbors’ son, cutting up and removing the fallen tree. He was about 16, very handsome boy, the kind a six year old would look up to. He was a good kid. A couple of years later, he enlisted in the Navy and died soon after in a training accident, the victim of drowning. I remember there being all sorts of whispers about this event – alcohol related, fight related, and can remember years later wondering if he was an early victim of the Viet Nam War that was gearing up in the early 1960’s.

I was too immature for school then, and this issue dogged me well into college as I was always younger than my school mates and more immature too. This was a source of extreme conflict for me. Understand first that my mother went “out on a limb” insisting I was ready for school and so she kept tight reins on me. Nothing happened in the class that was not relayed home by the time my day had ended, whether by my teacher, a fellow teacher or school principal, all who were good friends with my mother. Two situations stand out, both involving another boy with whom I had an obvious personality conflict. One day we were working on math concepts and Mrs. Menzie had a large container of wooden blocks. Somehow, this other boy, Michael Harrington, his name I believe, got into a block building pissing match which ended with us knocking over each others block towers we had built on our desks. Needless to say, I was punished that night at home and the next day saw a new “ONLY TEN BLOCKS PER PERSON” Policy in place in the class room. I mean we were doing simple single digit math, no need for 50 blocks now was there?

The second situation was more serious. My angst partner in crime, Michael Harrington, and I were conflicting over pencils as we were allowed to go to the back of the room to sharpen them and of course both of us wanted the sharpest pencil. In the course of pushing and shoving and strutting, Michael jerked his arm and stabbed a fellow student, girl type, in the arm. Not seriously, but bleeding none the less. Amid all the yelling and crying, both Michael and I were sentenced to walk home right then and there and not return until we had a note form our parents. Needless to say punishment ensued and a first grade girl will wear the scar of a lead pencil stabbing for the rest of her life.

To follow is a commentary about starting school earlier than one should…

Book Review: The Pluto Files, by Neil deGrasse Tyson

I really like Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. He is the Director of the Haden Planetarium in NYC and I became familiar with him on his many TV show appearances, including some very memorable ones on The Stephen Colbert Show (search YouTube for some of them). He is smart, articulate and able to communicate with the masses on subject mostly over our heads (pun intended!). He has become a pop culture icon, on the lines of Mr. Wizard and Bill Nye, the Science guy, while also maintaining a standing in the group of scientists such as Stephen Hawking and Carl Sagan.

After reading Bill Bryson’s “A Short History of Almost Everything” I commented in my review that I was getting into these science books and Tyson’s fit the bill. I dare say that I was right in that this book too does a good job of describing, evaluating and coming to a plausible resolution to a question that has bothered scientists for generations – Is Pluto a Planet?

Tyson sets off to deal with this issue in a wonderful way. First he begins by stating the problem and then gives us a history lesson in how Pluto was discovered and considered a planet. Then he gets into the cultural and societal impact this has (plutonium named after Pluto, Disney Pluto, not so). This is then contrasted to societal reactions to the possibility of the declassification of Pluto status which he highlights I by including texts from letters and emails he received from young and old alike, decrying this change. Finally he spends a good part of the book discussing his role as the director of the Haden Planetarium as the Rose Center was built which included information about the status of Pluto. Tyson’s words and actions reveal a person open to further learning and considerate of the effect those changes will have on others. This is wonderfully punctuated by many, many emails and letters he includes that show the strong feelings on both sides of this issue. They are funny, witty and really show how much people care about something as simple as this.

One final note. I love Tyson’s voice, its cadence and balance and the sense of wonderment and excitement he is able to convey so I was very disappointed to find out he did not do the reading of this book, rather it was Mirron Willis. Willis is good, a winner of several audio book reading awards but I was disappointed none the less. It is for this reason that I can only give this book a rating of 4 Penguins. I wanted Dr. Tyson to read it to me!

It is well structured, entertaining and I could easily recommend it to anyone. Lots of positives, only the reader situation could be considered a negative at all. Enjoy it!

CollegeBoy Turns 21 Today

September 3, 2010

Happy Birthday dear son.

At 21 years of age, you are now well on your way to a wonderful life, complete with challenges, successes, some momentary failures and lots and lots of good times you will truly enjoy. You are past that “my parents are so stupid’ phase and very close to the “boy they have a lot of experience they share with me’ phase. We like this phase much better.

For gifts, you have received a bunch already. You have education – something most people desire yet find so hard to attain. You have experience, the kind that will always be there for you to rely on when things are tough or unsolvable. You have love, the kind that only a father or mother has for their child, striking out on his own in this sometimes terrible and scary thing we call life. You have people who “have your back” as you journey forward – a wonderful, loving sister, a fantastic girlfriend, lots of good school friends and home friends and most of all, people watching out for you.

At 21 you get the title, adult, but you have had that for a while now, sort of in training. You have been there for others, have shared yourself with unending graciousness, spent a great deal of time helping others. These are the things that I can promise will return to you tenfold as you move on.

You were there for me when I was sick, and struggling to make it to another day, and you were there to offer encouragement and a smile and hug to let me know. I offer those back to you now as you continue your adventure. The day you left the cottage this summer, to return to school was one of the most difficult for us but also the most gratifying for your mom and I, as we see you growing up right before our eyes. You will always be our child but you along with MillieJupiter and your mom are also my best friends.

Enjoy your day, enjoy your friends, enjoy your celebration. But most of all, welcome to this club. Us adults don’t always know what we are doing but I can’t help but think you are going to be a welcome addition to the fold in helping us figure that out.

Best wishes always,

DAD

I am a teacher again!

“Those who can -- do. Those who can't -- teach.” H.L. Mencken, American journalist, essayist, magazine editor, satirist, acerbic critic of American life and culture, and a student of American English (Wiki)

Up until a few years ago I used to teach adult education computer classes. I taught classes at my job when we were converting to a computerized medical system. I did it for a year in the local high school and then for three years at the regional high school. They were beginner’s classes, mostly older people who had little or no experience with a computer. Their common tale was that they were given an old computer by their son, daughter other relative and wanted to find out about what they could do. I literally introduced dozens of people to things like email, WORD documents and excel spreadsheets, and the internet. I really enjoyed it very much and was happy that I was able to affect some change in people’s lives. But then I lost my leg to a bone infection and things changed for me.

The last few years have been difficult medically for me, including a deformity in my good foot that has led to 3 ulcers that took months to heal and needed skin grafts, and swelling during the summers that made it difficult to wear my prosthesis. But Mrsfabp kept after me and I found a good foot specialist who really saved my good foot with some surgeries and the skin grafts, and a cardiologist who got me on a good mix of medications and got me away from too much sodium (although I know I can be better about that) and I had the best summer health wise in the last 5. And this got me thinking about how much I missed teaching.

With some encouragement from mrsfabp again, I called the evening ed program director who was very happy to hear from me and who offered me a position on the spot to get back into the swing of things. It helps that not many people want to work with beginners on computers (student: what is this thing? Me: a mouse. Student: is it connected to this box thing? Me: Yes, we call that a computer…) and they are in need of teachers. So I am a back up for this semester, if they fill up one class and have enough overflow for another, and get to design a class or two on my own for the spring semester. I am thinking about doing a class about starting a blog.

Now, if I can only get them to understand that the CD ROM drawer is not a cup holder…

We don't need no education
We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!

“Another brick in the Wall"
PINK FLOYD


(In honer of my renewed status as teacher I have included two of my favorite FAR SIDE cartoons to celebrate!! ENJOY them too!)

Follow Up Story to "Why so Sad?"

My friend Maqz, of podcast and blog fame, commented on this post I did about the Vuvuzelas and CollegeBoy and MissNicole. He mentioned that he thought that the Vuvuzelas looks like something designed or named by Dr. Seuss. Maqz is my go to guy in anything related to the infamous Dr. Seuss, having once been threatened by his estate for copyright infringement. But that is a story for him to tell, not me.

Anyway I give you these two illustrations and ask if you see the Dr. Seuss influence?