The Canonical Penguin: Exploits of the 215th Street Gang – The Pool Hall

If you are going to have a good gang, you need some illicit stuff to be part of and the 215th Street Gang had that in our pool hall and athletic stadium. Let me explain…

The pool hall was a 7 foot pool table in our basement. It was great down there because it was cool in the summer and warm in the winter and we could get in and out without being seen, using the basement door on the back of the house. My father’s tools were nearby so whenever we were into mischief, it was easy to have the proper equipment. When we tired of pool, we had a wooden top to place on the table and if you add a net, you have a neat ping pong table. I could not even estimate the time we spent there doing that stuff. Eventually we got into motor sports and this table top is where the car racing set went. Even back then we were multitasking!

(Our buddy Tom, playing ping pong like a Chinese pro!)

Most of our gambling empire was connected to our illegal card games on Friday and Saturday nights. We played penny poker till all hours, usually topped off by several great pieces of VIP Pizza, a local place with the best pie in the neighborhood. We couldn’t call it an official game until Tom wiped his fingers on the pizza box cover for good luck. Again, much too much fun. I did a VIP Pizza entry in the post before this one...

We also used this table top for the Bayside Gerbil Olympics. We had several of the little critters and many an afternoon was spent making obstacle courses and climbing areas for them on the table top. We even would let them wander around the racetrack which created “giant rats attack cars” scenarios which we took pictures of. I have no idea if any of the pix survived but they were great. It also was a gerbil that led to my brother’s marriage. I’ll let him tell the full story. We will let it suffice to say one crawled up his pants leg and when his pants hit the ground, his future wife saw that from her house window.

(These are stories about things that actually happened with plenty of witnesses. It has passed from the apocryphal to canonical in nature. Wiki says of canon – “material that is considered to be "genuine", "something that actually happened", or can be directly referenced as material produced by the original author or creator.”)

The Canonical Penguin – Food, Glorious Food…

…or more specifically, PIZZA. As anyone who has lived in NYC and then other places (or lived in other places and moves to NYC) knows, NYC has the best pizza in the world, hands down, no argument allowed or considered. Famous Chef Mario Batali has said it is the water that makes the pizza what it is. People from Chicago will argue, throwing out the whole deep dish pizza idea and there might be a bit of wiggle room there with the explanation that pizza is a thin crust product. Deep Dish Pizza, so many inches tall is a different animal and very, very delicious. I might even say that Chicago is THE place for the Deep Dish but as previously stated NYC has the BEST thin crust pie.

It has been said there is a bar on every corner in NYC and if that is true, then there are pizza joints on each side of it. What this really means is that every neighborhood, every hamlet, has a pizza place you swear by. You are a faithful customer, only getting your fix there unless circumstances don’t allow for that, at which point it is necessary to compare the slice in hand to your place’s slice and shake your head side to side, while affirming that “it’s not as good as the pizza at_____!” So now this leads me into a sad story about my pizza place.

VIPizza has been around for a long time, in its current location in Bayside, NY as it has been since I was a pre-teen some years ago. Ok, lets say 45 years at least. That is where we got our slices, that is only where we did even if there were at least 3 other places relatively the same distance from our house. When we got into our gambling binge where we played penny poker every Friday and Saturday night, a VIPizza was not far away. My friend Tommy even perfected the ritual of wiping pizza grease on the box as a good luck charm when he was doing poorly. Plain, Sicilian, pepperoni or not, doesn’t matter. It was the best. When we moved to Massachusetts, we recognized that loss whenever we got pizza or at least what the denizens of MA call that thing we get. When we had children, we would make sure to expose them to the glories of VIPizza whenever we visited. CollegeBoy became a disciple. Unfortunately, we messed up with MillieJupiter who does not like pizza at all although she has said she could handle a slice from VIPizza which is more than she has ever done before.

But now, the bad news. In the last couple of years, VIPizza was sold. Horrors! They new owners, although they make a good pie, cannot match the VIPizza tradition. I knew there were problems when relatives who still live down there told us they got their pizza from a different place now.

Horrors!

When we visited New Mexico in our retirement search tour, our friends took us to a place that had real brick oven pizza and it was excellent. The only problem is that it was not NY pizza. They tell us however that they opened a NY style pizza place near the NMSU campus. We drove by there during the visit but it had not opened yet. It opened up soon after that and The Zees report that it is an excellent pie! Hopefully it will be able to take the place of the childhood favorite but no longer attainable VIPizza. I’ll let you know.

(These are stories about things that actually happened with plenty of witnesses. It has passed from the apocryphal to canonical in nature. Wiki says of canon – “material that is considered to be "genuine", "something that actually happened", or can be directly referenced as material produced by the original author or creator.”)

PROPOSAL: A New Internet Law

As the geekiest of us knows, there is a set of internet “laws” that provide insight into what the internet is, how it is run and who is out there on it. These laws are a light hearted look at internet practices. For example (these are all taken from Wikipedia) there is Godwins Law - As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1, Poe's law (religious fundamentalism) — "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing, or Skitt's law — A corollary of Muphy's law, variously expressed as, "Any post correcting an error in another post will contain at least one error itself," or even Pommer’s Law “A person's mind can be changed by reading information on the internet. The nature of this change will be from having no opinion to having a wrong opinion.”

If you use the internet a lot, you will have encountered all of these at one time or another. I use the internet a lot. I do a lot of research for my blog this way, for our podcast this way and just as a way to find humorous entertainment. Over the last several months, I have seen something changing and wanted to offer some commentary on it. As such, I am proposing a new law to be recognized about the internet, a corollary of Godwin’s law. Godwin states that as internet discussions grow longer, the odds of a Hitler or Nazi reference becomes almost a certainty. Well, the Countless Screaming Argonauts Corollary (CSA Corollary) to Godwin’s law is that in almost any internet discussion, the more posts there are, the more likely you are to get a negative or offensive political reference. The keywords seem to come in two groups – the consistent one like Obama, Bush, Obama v. Bush, Palin, Bachmann or even tea party reference. The other keyword group seems to change according to the political issue de jure, such as health care, oil spill, immigration reform or bank bailout. As examples of this political negativity popping up in the most unlikeliest of places, I offer this example from Reddit, which appeared on Monday, the day after Father’s Day.

Someone posted the famous quote attributed to Mark Twain, “When I was a young boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to 21 I was astonished at how much he had learned.” As is the style of reddit, this was followed by a series of reader submitted comments, most in the “I like that” or Happy Father’s Day” meme. However, this is where the CSA Corollary kicks in. Comment 13 was a statement by someone that their father was a bigot and poor example, but he still loved him as he was his father. By comment 15, the bigotry and hatefulness had become political fodder, by 18, it was a right wing/left wing comparison, and 21 brought out Obama and hate. It continued. By comment 26 we were in the throes of right wing radio, and then the focus shifted to the original quote which was now redefined as a Twainism, an apocryphal saying in Twain’s style as Twain’s own father died when Twain was 11. Well you get the picture.

Just about any discussion nowadays seems to go in this manner. It is somewhat like a roller coaster, peaking when the political issues are hot. I know several people who have had blog and Facebook entries taken over by political zealots, trolls really, complete with name calling and other abuses. It seems as if there are bunches of political crazies out there just looking to argue. I have always gone for political debate but the anger and abusiveness is over the top right now.

Just for laughs, a review of internet stories just this past week showed several further examples when the CSA Corollary to Godwin’ Law was seen:

-In a story about Oprah and Zach Anner Controversy, the 31st comment brought up a negative Tea Party slam;

-In a story about Jay Leno’s poor ratings, the 71st comment in the third main comment thread brought up an Obama and health care slam

I’m sorry people; we really need to be more tolerant of opposing views. And, let’s ease up on the politics ok, check out Lolcats or fake science or something and have a laugh!

The Apocryphal Penguin: Giant Spiders!

(Wikipedia defines the term apocrypha as a word “used with various meanings, including "hidden", "esoteric", "spurious", "of questionable authenticity", and "Christian texts that are not canonical". The story that follows is handed down in my family as history, with no one to actually verify its veracity. In the interest of full disclosure, this story is possibly apocryphal and I am making no claims that they are 100% accurate. If any of my siblings read this and make comments / corrections/ or have different memories, I will share them too.) And so now without further ado:

Spiders the size of basketballs

My grandmother was a great cook. If I only knew then, what I know now, I would have watched her prepare everything and learned how to do it right. She was from the old country, born near Naples, Italy and came to this country when she was in her early teens. In those days she did things the old school way – that is fresh food, prepared by hand, lovingly, and in mass quantities, like any good Italian household. She made a Sunday sauce to die for, fresh meats in a tomato sauce that cooked on top of the stove for hours. Ravioli was handmade on the kitchen table with a wooden window shade as a rolling pin, all cut by hand. I loved her veal parmigana and her Italian cookies were the best.

A staple of the Italian household was fresh fruits and vegetables. Her house in Bayside NY had a peach tree in the back yard. She also had several fig bushes around the yard which she hand fertilized with the fish guts her son and my dad caught. We always had cats hanging around our yard and the figs she grew were the size of baseballs. All of this leads me to the story of the pears and spiders.

Near our home there was a tiny municipal airport, the kind with itty bitty planes. Its biggest claim to fame was that this was where they parked the Goodyear Blimp whenever it was in town. On a road, past this airport there was a small grove of fruit trees, in an abandoned plot of land. No doubt, a small orchard of a long gone home owner or farmer. I don’t remember exactly but I think they were mostly pear trees, but there could have been others. One day our parents packed us up for a ride and after watching the planes land for a while, we took the road to the pear trees. Out of the trunk came a large bag and my dad walked thru some tall weeds to the tree and began picking ripe pears. All was going smoothly until my grandmother began shouting and pointing. Right near my dad was a giant spider.

As I remember, the spider was easily the size of a basketball. There are two problems with this. First, we do not have any spiders in NYC this size. Maybe these were mutant spiders created from the toxic dumping of chemicals in College Point sound. Perhaps it was the tree branches that gave it that appearance or maybe the adrenaline from the screaming, but it was that big and moving in for the kill. My dad came flying out of the tree, into the car and we pealed out of the roadside dirt headed back to home. Everything ended up all right and we got pear cookies that night.

This is filed under the Apocryphal heading because of the giant spider image. All the other parts of this story are generally personal memories that can be trusted.

An interesting way to spend 7 minutes...

A friend of mine sent me this link a movie clip. What makes this so interesting is the age of it and the subject. From her description: You are "there" for a cable car ride in San Francisco This film was "lost" for many years. It was the first 35mm film ever. It was taken by a camera mounted on the front of a cable car. The number of automobiles is staggering for 1906. Absolutely amazing! The clock tower at the end of Market Street at the Embarcadero wharf is still there. This film, originally thought to be from 1905 until David Kiehn with the Niles Essanay Silent Film Museum figured out exactly when it was shot. From New York trade papers announcing the film showing to the wet streets from recent heavy rainfall & shadows indicating time of year & actual weather and conditions on historical record, even when the cars were registered (he even knows who owned them and when the plates were issued!).. It was filmed only four days before the Great California Earthquake of April 18th 1906 and shipped by train to NY for processing. Amazing, but true!

I was really entertained by this, watching the people get on and off the cable cars while they travel by, the crazy drivers weaving in and out of the traffic, the animal drawn wagons. Even the paperboy who obviously sees the camera and makes several attempts to get on the film. Watch how the people react to the cars and trucks and wagons too. Great stuff! Enjoy

Where do all those 3D glasses go?

I am not a big movie person, only seeing a handful every year. We have developed a family tradition however of seeing a couple or so flicks together now that we are not all together all the time (I will post about the movie tradition in a later post) As such we tend to go to the BIG films together. This past year it has included Alice in Wonderland and Toy Story 3, each in 3D. As I was sitting waiting for the film to begin and playing with the glasses, I had this thought – “What do they do with all those 3D glasses? I asked MillieJupiter on the way home and we speculated there must be some recycling but neither of us knew. So to the trusty internets I went to get the 100%, totally correct, never be wrong answer to this query.

Imagine my surprise to learn that the internets is confused on this matter too. After some quick skimming of several articles (which is how the internets is making us stupid nowadays – no one reads it all, there is too much!) I came up with two possible things that are happening. In one article it lamented the fact that ABC News reported that Good Housekeeping did a study of 3D glasses in metro NYC and found that the glasses were contaminated with lots of bacteria that cause some problems like “conjunctivitis, skin infections, food poisoning, or even sepsis or pneumonia, but docs say that the germs found are no more threatening than what you find on the arm rest, box of popcorn, or movie seats” This made me squirm a bit. A second article stated that “RealD, the company that developed the technology for the current trend in 3D movies, started a recycling program for the glasses last fall to address this problem with cardboard containers at theater exits to deposit glasses.” And “Both Dolby and RealD's recycling system collects the 3D glasses, puts them through industrial dishwashers, and sterilizes them to be reused by another customer.” They figure that they can handle the washing process about 500 times but they do not say what happens next. Remember about 42 million people saw Avatar in 3D and along with Alice, means millions of glasses being shipped to and fro plus the cleaning process itself all of which use substantial amounts of energy for a pair of cheap sunglasses (Sorry ZZ Top!)

Finally one other article mentioned a company called “Oculus3D glasses, by Cereplast Inc., uses bio-based, sustainable plastic resins for the glasses. When discarded, the glasses will return to nature in less than 180 days with no chemical residues or toxicity in the soil.” Another potential solution but I worry about the wasted energy of making millions and millions of glasses for each and every movie coming out and a one use pair of glasses at that. I’m not too sure there is a savings there in environmental impact.

The better long term solution might be for people to invest a few dollars in 3D glasses they would own and bring each time they went to a movie. I’m just not convinced that this would happen consistently enough to be environmentally significant. Say, has anyone seen my 3D glasses? I guess I’ll have to stop at WalMart on the way and get a new pair…

The Apocryphal Penguin: Aunt Bee

(Wikipedia defines the term apocrypha as a word “used with various meanings, including "hidden", "esoteric", "spurious", "of questionable authenticity", and "Christian texts that are not canonical". The story that follows is handed down in my family as history, with no one to actually verify its veracity. In the interest of full disclosure, this story is possibly apocryphal and I am making no claims that they are 100% accurate. If any of my siblings read this and make comments / corrections/ or have different memories, I will share them too.)

And so now without further ado:

Getting Down with Aunt Bee or Brush with Greatness

If you look at Wikipedia for Aunt Bee, it will tell you that “Beatrice Taylor (commonly known as Aunt Bee) is a fictional character from the 1960s American television sitcom The Andy Griffith Show. The show was televised on CBS from October 3, 1960, until April 1, 1968. The character migrated to the spinoff Mayberry R.F.D. (1968-1971) when The Andy Griffith Show ended its run.” Click the link for the actress and you learn that “Frances Elizabeth Bavier (December 14, 1902 – December 6, 1989) was an American stage and television actress. Originally from the New York theatre, Bavier worked in film and television from the 1950s. She played the continuing role of Aunt Bee on The Andy Griffith Show and Mayberry R.F.D. from 1960 to 1970, and won an Emmy Award for Outstanding Supporting Comedy Actress for the role in 1967.”

What this does not tell you is that Ms. Bavier lived on 215th Street in Bayside, NY until she relocated to Hollywood in the mid 1950’s. That house I am very familiar with. You see, my parents bought that home from Ms. Bavier and we moved into it in 1959, a couple of years and many hours of renovations later.

Now for the apocrypha part. Were my parents friends of hers? Can’t say. Did they keep in touch with her? Don’t think so. As for the ever popular internet meme “It didn’t happen unless there are pictures, I offer this:

That picture of Aunt Bee and the baby Penguin was taken in my grandmother’s house where my parents and I and my brother Mike lived until we moved to the Bee home in 1959. That chair complete with some of my grandmothers crocheting was in the living room with those windows overlooking the street and front stoop. That is not a grimace on my face, but rather a youngsters attempt at a smile. Do I remember her? Nope. But there were always reminders at home of having been connected to Hollywood royalty. This included the purple and black tile in the upstairs bathroom. The second picture is from Google images for comparison sake for those that might doubt the tale.