Episode #003 "Goodbye, good luck, now get out!"

I said a goodbye last week to my son, Booth Boy (this is his podcast name referring to his producing the podcast episodes in the beginning before he taught me everything I needed to know). He is our youngest and we sent him away to further his education. It was a glimpse of an American ritual, teen age son goes off to college. It was emotional – he balled like a baby, I teared up, although less than usual for events like this. (See ‘Dad balling like a baby’ the day my daughter graduated from college and moved to an apartment 5 hours away from home.) I think it was less emotional because I have been gearing up for this moment for a while. Anyway, he will be home at Thanksgiving and Christmas and in the spring. I’ve heard rumors of some sort of Crew practice during spring break, but we shall see. Still, as I hugged him before he departed, my mind started to wander, as it often does…

When I was that age, I headed off to the Seminary to study for the priesthood. I never made it that far but that is another story. If you wanted to see the great goodbye ritual in action, this was the place. It happened so very often. My class started at about 90 young men and we graduated only about 20 or so. A group that small, with common goals like that gets pretty close. About 20 went on to Theology Training and 3 years later maybe 5 were ordained priests. Ninety to five. That is a lot of goodbyes. So many in fact that we had a name for the process of saying goodbye to someone who was leaving – “Goodbye, good luck, now get out!” This was the reminder that goodbye is not necessarily an end. You also needed to move on with your life.

This goodbye ritual is the same one going on all over the country, all over the world really. It is most certainly not only related to kids going off to college either. I’m sure that in some places, the great goodbye is given as the child leaves the little town or village and heads to the big city. Maybe it’s a move related to a new job or first job or relocated job. I am sure that in some places, sometimes, it is related to a youngster going off to war. The great goodbye ritual is marked by tears, promises, more tears, oaths to return and good luck wishes. It is characterized by crumpled tissues, red, swollen eyes, throat clearing and longing glances. It means it is time to move on.

Contrast this with Mrs. Penguin’s family goodbyes. She comes from a large family, spread out mostly around the northeast. There is that pesky family in Korea or is it Italy now… This whole family group rarely gets together save weddings and funerals and has its own goodbye ritual, “The Lawrence family goodbye.” In it there are all of the same elements, just strung out longer. For a 4 pm departure, the grand goodbye starts around noon. There are tears and hugs and the herding of the little children, the promises, the sworn oaths, the swears. All of it, spread out over several hours. It is time to move on.

The grand goodbye is an expression that heralds the sorrow, the social convention and the reminder that life goes on. Booth Boy’s departure reminded me of all of these things too. Just as it is an ending of one relationship, it is the start of another. He is becoming an adult; he is no longer a child. He will do well, probably better than any of us. It is time for him to move on. Goodbye, good luck, now get out.

(Check out Booth Boy's video blog "It's 1 am, do you know where your college student is" Link provided in the right column...)