January 17, 2010

Pointing out the Idiocy of the World - One Idiot at a Time

I cannot begin to tell you the range of emotions I felt this week. First I felt empathy for the people of Haiti who have experienced one of the greatest tragedies of our generation. The last news report I heard said that over 150,000 people were killed in the earthquake this past week. This empathy switched to abject horror when I heard the garbage that the right wing uber-conservative Christian movement was claiming about this event. Pat Robertson, one of the uberchiefs, had the balls to tell us that the people of Haiti were being punished for a pact they had made with the devil back in the 17'90's when they sought their freedom from French domination. A vengeful God was punishing them.

I cannot fnd the right words to describe the anger I felt as he spoke this garbage and I knew that we would be commenting on this issue in the next episode of our podcast Countless Screaming Argonauts. As I was doing research, I found an article on the NPR radio's website that quoted a news paper article from the Minneapolis Star Tribune. A writer published a letter from Satan, to our beloved evangelist regarding his comments that Haiti's troubles, including the earthquake, were due to the pact that nation made. This is what the author wrote:

Dear Pat Robertson,

I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.

But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welsher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.

Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?

If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.

You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.

Best, Satan

LILY COYLE, MINNEAPOLIS


Personally I think she hit this one pretty well. The reality is my God is not a vengeful God. As I've said at other times on the podcast, when one of these right wing uberconservative "Christian" leaders spews some of this garbage and say something like this, they should have their license to preach taken away from them. They should be banned from speaking in public. They should get out of our faces. They should lose their tax free status. They should go the hell.

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