The Great SouthWest Passage aka Chronicles of Las Cruces - Episode 3: “Damned spot…”

Lady Macbeth “Out, damned spot! Out, I say!”
Mrsfabp “Why don’t you wear that white shirt. You look so good in it”
T Fab P “Because it is white, you know me.”

I have a nice white polo shirt. I have worn it a couple of times but must admit to a bit of paranoia about it. You see, I am a slob. Spills seek me out as if to make a good impression. If something is spilled across the room it will eventually find its way to the front of my shirt. I have a closet full of shirts with a stain right in the middle, front and center. But when mrsfabp says those magic words, “you look so good,” I aim to please.

Of course, the reality of this situation makes itself evident immediately. I know I will get a stain. I just hope that first, it is small, and second, it is light enough in color to at least give the appearance of being minor.

In the gambling parlance of the day, the over/under on the stain occurring was 30 minutes. I felt confident I was in control so I bet the over – I could wear the shirt without mishap for more than 30 minutes. The timer is set, the die is cast. I did have some good inside information, sort of like Martha Stewart and her stocks sale; I knew we were not going to go out to breakfast that day. Breakfast is a veritable stain waiting to happen. There is ketchup on the hash browns, butter and syrup on the hot cakes and toast crumbs and jelly and butter to defend against. No, today it would be a cup of coffee and plans for a big Mexican meal for lunch.

Out of the condo, into the car and on the road without mishap we began. A quick drive to the Apache Indian Casino Convenience Store (yes that is what it is) and mrsfabp gets 2 coffees and some muffins. Quick mental check – muffins, usually crumbs but no major stain potential. Watch the fingers though, they can get sticky. Fifteen minutes in, no problems noted or anticipated. Would I like to look at a newspaper? ARE YOU CRAZY? THERE ARE INK STAINS WAITING TO JUMP FROM THE PAPER TO MY FINGERS AND THEN ONTO MY SHIRT!

There we sit in the parking lot, enjoying the sun, beautiful sky, hot coffee. My attention wandered for only a second, really, it wasn’t that long. As I brought the cup to my lips, I noticed a drop of coffee on the cover, a small drop with mean intentions but didn’t give it a second thought until it was too late. Cup to the lips, drop rolls around the top, leaps to edge and dives for my shirt. I realize what is happening and move the napkin toward an appropriate position, but it is too late and does not get there in time. It leaps from the cup edge and lands with a splat on the front of my shirt.

I glance at the clock, 22 minutes have past. I am a loser.

LOSER!

It is small, it is light in color, it may not be too noticeable, but it is there. Damned spot!