The Anniversary

It passed very quietly, without fanfare, which is really the way I like it, but last month was the fifth anniversary of my amputation. In June 2005 I had three toes amputated on my left foot, did 12 weeks of intravenous antibiotics, ended up anyway with a raging infection that almost cost me my life and had a below knee amputation of my left leg. I was in rehab until Columbus Day weekend that year and then came home to a life that was totally different then the one I had left.

After 5 years, I do not think about it anymore when I put on or take off my leg. A tug here, little turn there, tuck in the stump sock and then I am on my way. But every once in a while, maybe once every 3-4 months I really think about what I have to do. Usually some factor exerts some force that is different. A person who I now consider a friend, Peggy, a fellow amputee wrote about it recently when she wrote about the hazards of walking outside this time of the year on her rural property with all the acorns and hickory nuts threatening to upset her balance. So maybe this was on my mind. Maybe it is thoughts of the impending 9 months of winter that we have in New England complete with ice and snow which so threatens my feelings of balance. I guess that that is on my mind too (as is moving to Las Cruces where I understand they have no words to describe ice and snow…) But this morning I had one of those moments.

It was 5:30 or so when I woke up and first realized it. I needed to use the bathroom but now this is not as easy a task as it once was. Putting on my leg takes a minute or so and in the dark, can be a sometimes challenge getting it right. So I disregarded the urge and went back to sleep. Not fully asleep as the feeling in my bladder was tapping out this urgent message – “get up, get going or you are going to leave a little present on the sheets and mattress.” I ignored it until 5 minutes before the alarm usually goes off and quickly put on the leg to go and take care of business. And then it happened. As I pulled the stump sock on and put the leg on, I dreaded each and every moment of the process. It would have been easy to just lay back down and forget about the leg. Of course my bladder would have really protested but I just wanted to lay there. Not having a leg is a hassle. All that extra work is a hassle. Doing it every single day is a hassle. Wearing long pants (which makes it difficult to adjust the leg) is a hassle. My life is a hassle…



(Not my leg, this one was found washed up on a Florida beach and was ultimately returned to the owner. Talk about a hassle!)

It took me a few moments to get out of this funk. By the time I had taken all my medicines and vitamins, tested my blood sugar and got dressed, it was gone. I was thinking about that big, hot Dunkin Donuts coffee in my immediate future. I was thinking about what I needed to do at work today. I was thinking about the haircut I need to get this afternoon, the podcast we did last night and the rain delay at Yankee Stadium yesterday. In other words, all routines were back to normal.

Happy anniversary…