The Modern Penguin: The Nathan’s Trip

(By Modern Penguin I mean stories that are part of my adult life, that are in my memory banks as well as in the memory banks of others. This does not mean I am not misremembering, just that this is the way I recall it. I am sure that Mrsfabp or CollegeBoy or MillieJupiter or someone will quickly correct my stories so that they are accurate…)

When I was in college one of the guys I hung around with, I’ll call him Hud, was from Brooklyn and he had some very strong Brooklyn tastes. He like his bagels and lox, loved his Brooklyn pizza, cold, and had a special place in his heart for Coney Island.

For those who might not know better, Coney Island, was the equivalent of Six Flags Amusement Park at the beach. There was sand and boardwalk and amusement park rides and one of the world’s oldest and best roller coasters, The Cyclone. This is where the Hot Dog Eating Contest is held every year, right in from of the famous hot dog and Coney Island staple, Nathan’s.

You can buy a Nathan’s hot dog at the grocery store now a days but as good as it is, it is not as good as one eaten with relish (yes, double entendre there!) with the sound of the surf in your ears and the smell of the ocean in your nostrils. Well, Hud was partial to the dogs there and to raw clams on the half shell so it was not out of the ordinary for him to ask if anyone with a car might be interested in a 2 am trip to Nathan’s. It was only 20 minutes from school at that time of night, more like an hour during the day, fighting the Kennedy Airport traffic, so it was an easy trip and I had a car.

So one night, 3 am or so, Hud knocks on the door and asks about a Nathan’s run. On top of the hot dog and raw clam goodness, he has an opportunity to introduce a non-city boy, we’ll call him Noel, to the greatness of hot dogs at that hour. Noel was from the northern NYC suburbs, had never been to Coney Island or had a Nathan’s dog so a trip it was.

No traffic, no problems and before you could say Gulden’s mustard, we were on the sidewalk in front of Nathan’s. Of course it was quiet but there were some people there, probably headed home from their local tavern and in need of a bite to eat. Well, it was hot dogs and sodas all around and Hud got a plate of raw clams, drenched in hot sauce and awaiting a slurp, which he did oh so well. This is where things get interesting.

We are standing, munching out on the dogs, when Noel notices that Hud has something different. He asks what that was and Hud says clams, would you like one. Noel says sure and Hud spends a minute explaining how to tilt the head back and slurp it down. Noel does the job like a pro and then Hud asks him what he thought of it. He said (a paraphrase after 30+ years but pretty damn accurate) “Well, it’s a bit salty but I was expecting it to be hot. It’s weird that they would cook it and then cool it down.” Hud replied in three simple words “They are raw” at which point Noel doubled over, grabbed his stomach and evacuated its contents onto the sidewalk. Yes he threw up on the sidewalk in front of Nathan’s. Quickly one of the workers ran out with a hose and washed the clam, hot dog bits and soda off the sidewalk and onto the street.

After a few minutes, we climbed back into the car for the drive back to school with a story I would remember and tell several times a year ever since then. MillieJupiter just came in and with a smile told me this is her favorite story that I tell and I have to admit I think it is my favorite too.