To go or not to go

The idea of me going to school early is one that has bothered me for a lifetime. In retrospect I think that starting school when one is not emotionally prepared is not a great idea. With our daughter MillieJupiter and son, CollegeBoy, we dealt with the same issues, and I’m note sure we did the right thing then either. In my previous post I said: “I was too immature for school then, and this issue dogged me well into college as I was always younger than my school mates and more immature too. This was a source of extreme conflict for me. Understand first that my mother went “out on a limb” insisting I was ready for school and so she kept tight reins on me.” To give this a better perspective, because of the Catholic School Policy and my mother’s rule bending, I was the youngest kid in the class, and would be for all 8 grades of my grammar school career. I was at least 5 months short of the official start age date, and in reality was 8-10 months younger than everyone else. I did not go to kindergarten, was home for my whole life up to that point with an overprotective, and maternally centered (mother and grandmother) system, so I was doomed. It continued thru my starting college as again I was always the youngest and needed to grow up a bit to say the least. I don’t think I felt like I ever caught up to my friends even during college. It was going out and living on my own and working at my first couple of jobs that finally solidified that concept of adulthood for me and got me away from feeling so immature as compared to others.

As I thought about this whole situation recently, one issue that I didn’t realize bothered me much then but did so more later in life, was my mother’s reaction to my brother Mike in this. He was a May baby, two years younger than I and more than a month short of the cutoff Catholic School date. By my standards he was more than ready to confront the challenges of grammar school. However, perhaps because of the experience with me, or maybe as a result of the angst of all my issues, Mike got a choice and it stuck in my craw then. I’m note sure he even remembers the situation, but I do. It was a Labor Day Monday and school was to begin the next day. I was upstairs getting my school uniform ready for the next day when I saw my mother standing at the top of the stairs, next to my room. She called down to Mike, who was in the downstairs hall and said “So Michael, do you want to start school tomorrow?” Mike looked up and after a couple of seconds said simply “No” and that was that. There was some discussion between my parents and grandmother about this being best, etc. but nothing further I was privy to. He stayed home that next day and for the entire year and so that is why even though he is only 2 years 3 months younger than me, he was 3 grades behind.

Am I bitter to this day? Nahhhhhh, not so much...