The Canonical Penguin: You Call That Food?

I recently read this article about a Manhattan artist who photographed a McDonalds Happy Meal every day for 6 months and documented that it had not significantly changed in that time nor had it showed any signs of decay or mold. This story became such an internet phenomenon, that the PR people of McDonald’s felt it necessary to make a press release saying that their food COULD in fact grow mold. When this is the basis of your advertizing scheme, I think you might be in trouble. It made Good Morning America and is well on its way to Internet Meme status.

We, it reminded me of a college incident that is hauntingly similar and blog worthy because of this, so here it is.

In my freshman year, as the first semester was winding down as finals were in progress, stress was at a high and people would do off beat things. There were basketball games at 3 am, bowling in the dorm corridors and way too many people up way to late. A guy I knew casually said he was going to go to a local fast food hamburger palace, The White Castle, about three miles away.



It was 1 am.

It was snowing outside with about 4-5 inches on the ground and another 2-3 inches expected.

He did not have a car but did have a bicycle and this was his chosen mode of transportation.

He took a bunch of orders, hopped on the bike and left. Yes, he braved the storm, rode the 6 miles round trip and returned with a sack of cold hamburgers. It took him almost 4 hours so he did not get back to the dorm until almost 5 am. Needless to say, most of the orderers were asleep but some were still up studying and so the toast-r-ovens were fired up all over the dorm. There was one burger left in its little cardboard box and it went unclaimed.



In the confusion of the next couple of days, heading into Christmas vacation, the little lonely burger stayed there, left on the desk of the guy who rode out to get them. When we returned from the winter break about a month later, he was inviting people into his room to see the “miracle.” The burger was totally unchanged. It looked exactly like it did, the night he bought it.

He decided to perform an experiment and placed the burger on top of his book shelf where it stayed for the entire spring semester. Every once in a while he would let people take a peek at it and triumphantly declare it free from any decay. It stayed there for a total of 5 months. No special treatment at all. At the end of this phenomenal run, it looked exactly as it did the first night except for one fact – the pickle slice had turned black. There was no mold, no decay, no breakdown whatsoever, except for the pickle.

I firmly believe that this lonely little burger earned the famous nickname that they were known for as we were growing up in NYC – “The Belly Bomber”